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Mississippi Churning

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I’d always heard that Mississippi was a special place largely untouched by education, sophistication or the outside world. But I was still not prepared for the awe inspiring rolls of obesity. Just how many Little Debbie cake snacks and Jimmy Dean sausages must a person put down to grow three chins and a double wide ass by age 17?

South Florida has the “South Beach Diet”. Mississippi has the Southern Diet – deep fried everything. Mississippi ChurningAccording to Web MD, “Mississippians are the most massive Americans” based on a state-by-state obesity survey. Given the girth of Americans that could make the Mississippi the fat capitol of the world, with over 30% of Mississippi adult residents obese.

Mississippi is where all anorexics and compulsively thin LA models should be sent for rehab. I suggest their treatment include guided tours through Walmarts, auto parts stores and all you can eat buffets. They will return home knowing what real fat is and that salad too can be deep fried.

Do I have any thing good to say about Mississippi after visiting it? Yes, in addition to curing anorexia, it will make you feel great about where you live as long as you are visiting from any of the other 49 states.

Special thanks to the RV Bunny for posing in this photo to give the viewer a sense of dimension.

Next Stop – Military Toys for Boys

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 25th, 2007 at 10:41 am and is filed under Mississippi. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

One Response to “Mississippi Churning”

  1. Steven Says:
    July 16th, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    Haha, I enjoyed this. Thanks.

Leave a Reply

 

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